I think everything is starting to get to me. I started secretly wigging out last night because FI is having a bachelor party and I dont' know why I was getting so upset. I totally trust him, I know he won't do anything stupid, I totally know that and believe that. We both said in the beginning that we didn't want one, and now his Best Man is giving him one, which is totally fine. I guess all my old insecurities just got the best of me. I've been griping at him lately about stupid crap and I feel horrible about it, it's not his fault. The other day I apologized to him about it, but he understands, he knows I am busy and I don't mean it, cause I don't. I don't realize that I'm doing when I do, but later on I realize that I am, and I feel just horrible. I hate that. I don't want to be like that towards him especially with this being that last few days that we are an engaged couple.
I'm totally over it now. Totally done and over being upset about his bachelor party and all this other crap too. And this sounds soo dumb, but I was looking at this amazing wedding photographers blog, http://www.nicolechathamphotography.com/ and just looking at the pics of her weddings and the couples and crying my friggin eyes out, just made me realize, this other crap doesn't matter. Who cares that he's going out, we are going to be married and that's all that matters. Who cares that my mom is stressing me out more than the actual wedding is. Who cares that we have soo many programs to make and I don't feel like doing it, and that everyday my mom keeps adding more and more shit onto her list. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!!!!
The only thing I care about is being Brandon's wife. I am in love with an amazing man, and I don't deserve him. He gives me more love than I could ever ask for and he's the bestest friend that I've ever had and ever will have. I can't wait to begin our lives together. I cannot absolutely wait to have a family with him and hopefully our children will have his beautiful blue eyes and wonderful laugh and thick hair =) I think I am just over come with soo much joy and thankfulness right now. Next week is the beginning of our wonderful life together. I am just soo ready and have been sooo ready for this journey to begin. It's going to be magical, it's going to fun, it'll be a rollercoaster, but we will be on it together, side by side, as one.
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